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I could never cheat on anyone. It’s the type of mistake and wrong doing that I couldn’t live with. Knowing that you destroyed someone’s trust is bad, but destroying someone’s perspective on love is far worse.

To you,

I know we tend to be vulnerable at times. We are fragile even. It doesn’t change the fact that we can become powerful too.

First, I am sorry that I am hating you as of this writing. Because of you, the man I love has no believe in love and what joy it can bring to our lives. He would not believe in the goodness of having someone taking care of him. He is too mad and too strong. He is capable of not caring at all. He is selfish that it breaks my heart to pieces.

I may not know the reason why you left him. But it turned the man I love to something that gives pain into my chest. I know it isn’t fair to blame you, but you are still the reason why he would not trust again. 

Or maybe not.

I have been thinking about it lately. Maybe, it isn’t because of you that he doesn’t want to love again. Maybe, I am not the one who would make him feel alive again. Maybe, I am not enough for him.

Maybe, he meant well. Maybe, he was just too nice.

I was loving him in silence hoping that he’d wake up one day realizing that he loves me and everything is worth-risking. 

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There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.

Sarah DessenThe Truth About Forever

This was captured in Botolan when we had our first ocular visit for our outreach program.

This is my first entry after hybernating forever. Anyways, this has nothing to do with travel or food. This is quite different because I am blogging about the things we [gino&I] fight about a lot.

1. Indifference. So have you ever been in a relationship with someone who has the same character as yours? I bet, most of you would answer “No.” So do I. In a span of 16 months, Gino and I would fight over some petty things because of our indiferrences. There were times when we were just talking and someone said something that makes one pretty upset and there you go, one shows lack of interest and no effort in talking things through. Sad life. Days go by without us talking. 

I hope this goes straight to his heart and mind.

2. Facebook App. Who wouldn’t feel hurt when the partner has got a lot of time with this f**ing unbelievable app? So insulting and disgusting. Like what the hell am I even here for?

3. Bossy. I tend to act like a boss to my boyfriend and I don’t even intend to. Sometimes, it just comes naturally. I feel guilty as soon as I realize that I am becoming too much you know. I wish he would understand that.

4. Mood swings. I am a woman and I go through hell when I am getting my period. So hell I share with someone who would get in the way. Since I am with him most of the time, he gets too much attention from me. But it isn’t the attention every man would wish to receive from the love of their lives. So this must be the third reason that made ME the problem in our relationship and brace yourselves as we go along. Lol.

Heroes evolve is such a new happening in our relationship.

5. Gaming. Competition. Okey. Let me be clear. We are playing these games because we want to. But there are days I get so irritated because it feels like he is competing instead of just enjoying the game with me. So whenever I hear him trash talking or bragging, I just keep quiet and I fo AFK ( Away From Keyboard)

I can go on and on listing the things we fight about or the hate we feel whenever we fight but you know, in a strong and intimate relationship, there are times when it is really hard to deal with your partner. But what’s important is that you still want to be with each other. And that you still love one another. That at the end of the day, when all is said and done, you still see a bright future together.

I may not have it listed above but my idiosyncracies are what’s keeping us from living just a simple life. I don’t know and I can’t fight it during my PMS. I am just so lucky that the man I am in a relationship with is patient and kind.

Ow. By the way, I am blogging this because it is our 16th monthsary. I am expecting more petty fights in the future but I always trust and believe that the love we have for each other is more than the pride, or more than the hate we can feel towards each other.

Faith. Love. Hope. Future. Cheers!

I wish I can tell you how much it kills me when I have to deal with unreasonable and difficult people.

I am under the impression that I am being tested. It’s unimaginable. It breaks my heart knowing that there are people like them.

Which led me to search for articles that talk about them. I found a good one, Ten Keys to Handling Unreasonable & Difficult People .  Now, this blog talks about how I do it. And why do I write about it?

I know this someone. Okey, he isn’t just someone. He is special. If not, none of these would’ve mattered to me right?

How do I survive  dealing with the kind?

  • Sigh. When I sigh, that means retreat for me. There is nothing more fulfilling than showing diplomacy and do not talk when you are tempted to retaliate with words.
  • Look them in the eye with no emotion. There is nothing more satisfying than giving them what they deserve. They deserve no answer and a blank stare. I was once an aggressive and it didn’t do me any good. If there is one thing I learned, it’s to smile and to make them feel that you don’t care enough to respond. It kills the enemy.
  • Show them how the game is done. One way or the other, the negative person will learn that they are not high and mighty as they think they are. They are difficult to deal with because they have insecurities and they will never tell you that. They are strong but they aren’t unbreakable. Keep your cool.

These aren’t enough but you know how I hate battling for something that isn’t even worth thinking about.

This makes me happy. 🙂

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 680 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 11 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

I can not remember a time when I wasn’t there for him. He is the man that I have always wanted to love. He is strong, so much that he became indestructible. He has walls that I can’t come apart. I can’t even get in. One time, in my solitude, I thought of being his girl. But yet in my solitude, it permits me not. 

What is it with him that I am terrified of him? Why can’t I tell him just how much I adore him? 

He is not a typical guy who would hug you when you are sad. Not the man who would let you touch him when he is mad. He’s not the type of man who adores the simplest things you do. Certainly not the one sorry for his behavior. 

He is romantic in some way. In his own godless way. I cannot tell whether or not he likes me. One day, he’s sweet, the next day, he’s so cold. When he’s near, I can’t look at him. 

When he’s far, I can’t stop thinking about him. He is so much of a man that I have always wanted him to be but he is too selfish at times. Too selfish that he forgets that I, too, have feelings. 

I have forgotten what it’s like to be man-touched. Or be loved. Or be longed for. Or be cared for. He loves mystery so much that he became one (borrowed from Papertowns). I was trying not to care for him, at least for a day, but it’s hard not too. 

How can I not care for him when the word care for me tells me his name?

  

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Music Ministry

Pray for those who persecute you. – Pastor’s Wife

In my weakness,
You help me find
An immaculate remedy.

In my anger,
You help me see
Rightly

In my down fall,
You help me get back
On my feet

I am not after an exemplary life.
I am after wrapping my mind in
The concepts of healing and salvation.

For in my life,
I was blinded
By fear and anger.

But God has shown me a better way to live.
Fear is now my ally.
Because I fear not the society.

But my redeemer, my God.

Podcast Link here: Love your enemies by Pastor Joey Bonifacio

Happy Sunday! 🙂

Major jump-off: Ambasing Elementary School, Brgy. Ambasing, Sagada
Altitude: 1889 MASL (386 meter gain)
Days required / Hours to summit: Half day, 1.5 hours
specs: Minor climb, Difficulty 2/9, Trail class 1,3

For more information, you can visit this page.

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There is no other mountain, when in Tarak.

I just posted my blog few days ago about Tarak, First Time Ever.  Yes. I was just there last February. And I came back.

This is quite a different story. This was my revenge climb as I was not able to summit it the last time because of the strong wind. My body could not take anymore of the cold. This is Jose‘s mother mountain. We were supposed to be climbing Mt. Daguldol in San Juan, Batangas and camped in Laiya Beach but some things really happen. So changed of plans. I chose this mountain for Jose’s first climb because this is my personal favorite. And of course I was after finishing this mountain as well. It works for the both of us! Yay! This was also Josh‘s come back climb after Mt. Tibig in Lobo, Batangas last December. This was his first climb this year. What a good way to start.

Of all mountains, (I’m not the only one proud to say it) Tarak captivated the whole of my being. From the rainforest,tricky, steep, sloppy assault to summit trail, challenging terrain and the pristine river, It is simply amazing! If you can declare your love for mountain, this one’s mine. My declaration of love for Tarak!

So I’ll start with the break down of the expenses:

Tarak Expenses

The bus in Alas Asin going to Manila is up until 6 in the evening, or ’til 7pm if it’s Sunday. In the event that you’ll miss the bus at 6pm then you can go to Balanga Terminal. It’s 1hour 30 minutes away from Alas Asin. Bus Fare is P48.00. Please don’t ask the conductor of the buses as they tend to say P50 for backpackers and climbers. (REALLY!)

For Contacts, here are some of the numbers of the people who can help you:

Nanay Cording 9174723978
Cris(Guide) 9481206687
Darwin(Guide) 9483496829
Ate Beth (Guide) 9495869556

Please note that Guide fee varies: Overnight- P800. Day Hike- P800, addition will be up to you but it is mandatory to give more.

The adventure starts here:

 12:15am – Departure (Pasay)

03:07am – Arrival, Registration at BRGY Hall. In our case, we did not get our own guide. (Ahem, I guided this group)

3:20am – Start ascent

5:35am – Papaya River (Rest, Take pictures, Chicha)

6:25am – Assault to Summit

7:20am – rest/ take 10 minutes, picture taking

7:30am – Resume

8:30am – Ridge (Finally!)

  • Breakfast
  • Rest
  • Picture Taking
  • Summit (15 minutes)

10:25am – Start Descent

11:35am – Papaya River

14:00pm – Start Descent to Nanay Cording’s

16:00pm – Arrival at Nanay Cording’s

  • We had Buko Juice and chicha
  • Took a nap (For an hour! Holy Mackerel!)

In this case, since we are already tired and muscles are swollen, we took a tricycle that will bring us back to jump-off. It’s a 15 minute walk by the way. But when you’re tired, 15 minutes is the longest walk ever! Tricycle fee is P150.

This adventure was a real fun. I actually listed a lot of things we lack of and things I learned from them. Here:

  1. Famine/ Hunger– Yes. As hard as it seems, we experienced food scarcity. I already brought packed lunch and my friends had their own. Imagine continuous walking for 6 hours in the woods and you have nothing but a starved tummy? Ow-Em-Gi!
  2. Dehydration– I thought I am gonna past out because we lack water. Imagine walking a challenging terrain and assault of 90 degrees up to the summit and the only option is to push through because you are already there? Good thing, I saw a group of men and when I ask them if they can give me water, they did not hesitate for a second. Oh, talk about nice people! Bless their hearts.
  3. Sleep Deprivation– This does not apply to me but to my friends, yes. They were both from work and they were not able to sleep prior to this climb. I was able to sleep for 7 hours. But I was still sleepy and if going down isn’t mandatory, I would’ve stayed there sleeping for the rest of the day!

You see, this mountain is classified as a Major Climb. This is 1,130MASL that we’re talking about. Day hiking it is really epic especially for our friend who just did his very first climb. Poor Jose. Plus he didn’t know I am LOLing him here. 😛

Know more about this mountain here: Tarak Ridge by Pinoy Mountaineer

My packed lunch. Tinapa and Ham.

My packed lunch.
Tinapa and Ham.


I get too excited sometimes and I can't just rely on what they give as the ETA. My ever reliable Blackberry App never fails!

I get too excited sometimes and I can’t just rely on what they give as ETA. My ever reliable Blackberry App never fails!


So here we are at Nanay Cording's. Before I even realize it, we already walked 15minutes. Way to go.

So here we are at Nanay Cording’s. Before I even realize it, we already walked 15minutes. Way to go.


So we're here.

So we’re here.

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Papaya River. What a Pristine.


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Photoshoot while we’re resting.


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He did it best.


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My favorite stolen shot.


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Josh and Jose in action.


Our trail pictures.

Our trail pictures.


This one's pretty much my favorite. I love this picture of myself with nature.

This one’s pretty much my favorite. I love this picture of myself with nature.


At the ridge. 8:30 in the morning. It's a sunny day. We're sun-drained. I'm so thirsty.

At the ridge. 8:30 in the morning. It’s a sunny day. We’re sun-drained. I’m so thirsty.


Our breakfast at The Ridge.

Our breakfast at The Ridge.

 Psalm 18:36 “You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.”

How can I die without seeing every inch of this world?

February 6, 2015 Batulao New Trail Anniversary with Footprints Outdoor Group

February 14, 2015 Lioness Back and Rhino Rock Formation with Powerpuff Girls

February 28, 2015 Tarak Ridge, Mariveles with Trippers Trekkers

March 6, 2015 Sagada Trilogy ( Mt. Ampacao, Mt. Balintaugan, Mt. Polis)

She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings. (C) Ariana

Expenses on a Spread Sheet

The Salary isn’t really 9000. But I would like to see how far I can go with that alone. The excess of 9000 will automatically goes to my savings. Also, if you notice, the School Fee is tagged as “TBA”- it stands for To be added. It isn’t the start of school year yet and I have no idea whether the school will stick to the old pricing or not.

I hate to say it, but cigarette is really part of my daily finances.  I don't have food budget because I always eat at home before I head out to report to work.

I hate to say it, but cigarette is really part of my daily finances. I don’t have food budget because I always eat at home before I head out to report to work.

I forgot to include the Tithes and Offering for our church but I guess that shouldn’t be considered as daily finances. It is something you give out of faith and belief and it is for the love of God and our church.

When it comes to finances, I find it hard to sustain myself the capacity to be victorious over temptation. There’s a lot to indulge and also, places to go. How can I ever resist the mountain when it’s calling me? How can I resist the voices of nature when they’re alluring me? These questions and a lot more. I was asking those questions to justify myself when it comes to finances because I, sometimes forget my limit. I do not have discipline and thought I have no control over the matter. But it isn’t true. This actually led me to finding this book that talks about finances.

250 Bible Verses About Money

On the first day of every week each one of you is to put aside and save, as he may prosper, so that no collections be made when I come. – 1 Corinthians 16:2

When we pray, after we thank God for all the blessings, we actually ask for provision. And to me, praying for provision and guidance would not mean anything if you won’t help yourself.

With great determination I know I can do this.

I shall. And I will.