Posts Tagged ‘break up’

There really comes a point in our lives when we feel unpretty. This song by TLC reminded me of those days I was gaga over love. I felt nothing but sadness and emptiness. I was happy, yes. That was no doubt. But what’s underneath when you love someone and you know that you can only love him, not have him? You tell me. My bestie happened to share this message to me. She saw this Facebook post from one of her friends and posted this to my wall. I was teary-eyed after reading this simple, yet relatable message.

Letting go is like pulling a tooth. Once it’s gone, you’re somewhat relieved. But how many times does your tongue roll over that same spot? A few hundred times a day maybe, because there’s something missing but that is also a reminder that it may be gone, at least you don’t have to feel the pain it gives when it was there.

The lyrics of this song’s cool. I can pretty much relate:

My outsides look cool My insides are blue Every time I think I’m through It’s because of you I’ve tried different ways But it’s all the same At the end of the day I have myself to blame I’m just trippin’

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“But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.” — Milan Kundera

Say Something I’m giving up on you.
I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I’m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

Say something, I’m giving up on you
And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
And anywhere I would’ve followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
Say something, I’m giving up on you

Say something, I’m giving up on you
Say something…

What a sad song.

You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you’re greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I’ve been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don’t mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
‘Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks ‒ they’re quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It’s like we’re picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And “kind and courteous” is a life I’ve heard
But it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt
‘Cause here, here we are, here we are
Here we are [x7]

We’re still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is “Yes”

Through timeless words and priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides ‒ they turn ‒ and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together

And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it’s nice today. Oh, the wait was so worth it.

One time, not long ago some guy sang this song for me. I don’t know if I’ll be lucky or feel happy.

But for everyone who wants to know why I am sharing this. 1. There’s nothing really much that I can write or blog about. 2. I am busy and preoccupied lately I have got no time to write a very detailed one. 3. (once it has been said).. “I am only heartless now because I once cared too much.” I even used that as my f*cking username here at WordPress. I once loved too much. I have even loved him long after he’s gone in my life. That man. 

My own version of Daniel Handler’s Why we broke up.

If you have read his book “Why we broke up” you’d have an idea.
I am writing this one with a hope, but not limited to an intention, that he’ll read and understand.

1
Remember when I just followed what you always say what’s best for us?
You didn’t hear me disagree or never did I argue with you. For once I believed it’s what’s best for us.

Then we had a fight.
You left me. You dropped me like I’m a hot piece of shit..
You were always so insecure. You were so selfish, with big ego in your head.

If I get mad, you get madder.
That’s why we broke up.

2
Remember when we had an out of town, you were with your wife. Before we met her we went out and made love like it’s the first time in forever? We’re with her, that’s usually so awkward, but for the love of us, I endured?

You had me saw how sweet you were or how you were taking care of her, out of guilt or of love, what had you, but you had me saw it and it made my heart broke.

I was not myself. I cried.
You were so insensitive and that is why we broke up.

3
Remember when she kept checking on my twitter, instagram and tumblr account? You had a break and you were gone for weeks. We gradually see and talk and the next thing I know, you unfriended me on facebook? You were just with me, we even had breakfast in our happy place. You were on my front door. You were so sweet. And the next thing I know, you were gone. And I never knew why.

You were arrogant in your silence and that broke my heart.
That’s why we broke up.

4
Remember when I said one morning that I realized I can’t go on with this?
You said nothing.

I have given up on you and that’s why we broke up.

For some reason, love has become overrated but I just can’t let you go.

5

For the nth time, I said I can’t take anymore of your irresponsiveness and arrogance and your insensitivity. And i left.

I did. I fought for you until I can’t fight anymore.
I am leaving no trace of yesterday.

I was unhappy with the decision but I know I will be fine.
You are no good. And again. That’s why we broke up.


I did unwise decision when we were together, but I was able to get myself out of it. I was able to realize that the reasons we had to break up were already the signs that we should break apart.

~~

I will always love him from a distance..In silence, all ways.

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The most loving thing I did for someone this week is let go of the thing that’s making him hold back. I gave up the love of my life for him to take back his life.. His family..

He loves me, that’s one thing I am sure of.
Many times he had me felt it.
Like the things he said were just validation of what he’s already shown me.

..And the only difficult about the situation is, we were never really meant to be together.

My heart broke the moment I realized that loving him meant letting him go..