Posts Tagged ‘life’


I am scared. I am scared that I will not be able to hold myself together. I am scared to take another step as it may push you away farther. I am scared that if time flies, it’ll be fast I won’t be able to catch you to where you’re headed. I am scared that if I move an inch from where you left me, you won’t find me.

I am sinking though I refused not to. I am drowning though I stepped out of the throbbing water.

I hope you can find you.

When you find you,

Come back to me.


Warmth for me is when we see the sun in places where solitude and quietness is relentless.




And then again, I have found something worth sharing.
You can click on this link to read the most part.

He loves your soul.

This one made me believe and hope for something.

He likes you before he likes to look at you.
Your beauty isn’t first for him. It’s something he enjoys, but not something he expects. He sees you as a soul, a counterpart, a person. He doesn’t see you as the object of his desires or the prize he loves to mount in the living room

Maybe right now, I really can’t tell if my man is the right one for me. But when I read articles like this, it makes me hope for our tomorrow. For our future together.


The hardest part is when you are caught in between your love for God and love for the life you lead.


You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you’re greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I’ve been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don’t mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
‘Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks ‒ they’re quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It’s like we’re picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And “kind and courteous” is a life I’ve heard
But it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt
‘Cause here, here we are, here we are
Here we are [x7]

We’re still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is “Yes”

Through timeless words and priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides ‒ they turn ‒ and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together

And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it’s nice today. Oh, the wait was so worth it.

One time, not long ago some guy sang this song for me. I don’t know if I’ll be lucky or feel happy.

But for everyone who wants to know why I am sharing this. 1. There’s nothing really much that I can write or blog about. 2. I am busy and preoccupied lately I have got no time to write a very detailed one. 3. (once it has been said).. “I am only heartless now because I once cared too much.” I even used that as my f*cking username here at WordPress. I once loved too much. I have even loved him long after he’s gone in my life. That man. 

I love life. I have never had a reason to hate it.

I grew up in a changing world.  I am always here and there.

I can’t explain how I can be dependent and independent all the same but that is me.

I love making friends with people but I enjoy my time alone.

I love to hang out in a coffee shop with my notebooks, pen and iPad.

I go shopping alone. I go to church alone. Even when I jog. I prefer to be alone.

It makes me think a lot.  I keep a diary too.

I don’t believe in “Diary is for lonely people..” ( From A Diary of a Nymphomaniac) because I am not.

For me, even if you trust your friend your whole life, they can never be good enough to keep their mouth shut. There are only few who you can trust. But again, not everyone is capable of keeping a secret.

One mistake can totally ruin your everything. Not that I keep secrets a lot about myself.  I am actually an open book. Everyone knows my story. But not every single detail of it.

I remember my teacher in one of our subjects. She discussed about the type of listeners. There’s one “Ambush-er” type of listener. So what they do, they listen and they’ll soon to use the information against you.

I hate those kind of people. I used to be that but then I realized it’s better to keep your mouth shut if you can’t say anything good.

I learned the hard way and I swear I will never be that again. 🙂

I am also a traveler. I actually call myself that because this very journey is traveling in time already. I wander in different places with different faces and I am always open to trying new things out. You will discover a lot about yourself and that’s one good thing about it.

You are a free soul and your capacity will not come to an end.

You just need to figure it out. Ciao 🙂


You know what I hate most about my friend, Mark?

It’s when he ambushes me. He keeps on dragging me to a cozy place like Starbs.

I am like “Great! Here comes the spending much more than what should be moment again!”

I can only hate him so much, you know.
But since he’s the only friend I have. I mean. Closest among all the others. What else can I do?

Am I stuck here?

I can’t believe I am saying this in blog. But this disturbing thought keeps hunting me.

So I guess I’ll rant. Don’t worry readers. We’re close enough to understand that this is us when we hate each other. He’ll understand.

As a matter of fact, he’s beside me.
And before I publish this, he knows already! 😛

So hey, it’s rest day again. My long wait is over. ( For the days I have been longing since Sunday!) You have no idea.

I have listed the things I will make sure to accomplish.

To watch movies. thank heaven for the movies I downloaded on a website. All HD.

The Book Thief. I hate to say it, but I wasn’t able to watch it on the big screen. Not to mention that I haven’t read the book yet.

Non Stop. I’ve heard a lot of good reviews about the movie so why not add it. I have it downloaded anyways.

300 Rise of an Empire. I am not a fan of violence or whatsoever but I’m a fan of sexy body. Goodness gracious, that Sullivan Stapleton and his amorous body. So hawt! hot!

Unfaithful. It’s a 2002 movie about married couple. A New York suburban couple’s marriage goes dangerously awry when the wife indulges in an adulterous fling. Sounds fun!


That’s about it for my A-List.
I’m still going to read books. On my list: If I stay by Gayle Forman, The Kiss by Daniel Steel.

And maybe that’s just it for now.
I still have a life to live outside my comfort home, I am going to have dinner with friends and family.

Sundays, of all days! I will attend the service. I’m kind of excited because we have a new series. Plus Pastor Jeff never fails to make me so happy, enlightened and fulfilled.



Ever had that feeling when you thought things are irreversible? And you get depressed and lonely.

Ever wonder why it didn’t work? You get broken and sad.
Ever made a fool of yourself and it’s irrevocable?

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it’s stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you’re the problem and you can’t feel

Try this on, straightjacket feeling
So maybe I won’t be alone
Take back now, my life you’re stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today, I’m fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
Off a list of others, you don’t make sense
Beg me time and time again
To take you back now, but you can’t win
Take back now, my life you’re stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today, I’m fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again

But today, I’m fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I’m holding on by letting go of you

And when that memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
And just the thought of you I fear
It falls away

..and so do i

Posted: May 29, 2014 in Writing
Tags: ,

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou